the female paahrt insight/side è mail/male body




Once, there is a time, when you might realize, that your male part (as i would like to call it for now) took over your entire life. All the softness, compassion and everything somehow seem to have vanished…

What to do … all your friends – male and female – are somewhat traumatized (mentalized) as well, cause usually you stick to what you know, and ›healthy‹ people might not want to have much to do with psycho traumata-guys like you…

You – in the process of rebooting into a new life – test the limits of the ones, you feel attracted to – just like every newborn child does at some stage. If kids do it, it is known, common and accepted, if so called grown-up do it, everyone – more or less kindly – seems to be running away from that unwanted child you are.



»To be honest, Lucas, i am not your friend. […] Please stop messaging me.«

»Ich möchte, wie bereits erwähnt, keinen weiteren Kontakt.«

»[…] you shared your feelings, and i said that i'm not interested. And now you're trying again. Please stop doing that, Lucas.«



There you are, at the bottom of life. Everyone you feel attracted to and want to go threw this darkness with, does not want that present and – more or less kindly – says »No, thanks.«

What to do?

The majority of therapists needs therapy as well!

So many of them drive their clients into dependency instead of independence. Therefore they should be considered highly dangerous and should be – from my point of view – imprisoned!

If this is too much for you, okay, than they are at least (!) not very trustworthy people, as soon as it comes to professional guidance.

Last summer a friend came to me and told me, that he is in therapy for about 20 years now – because he would be sick.

That drove me super-freaking-angry!

»You are not sick! You are human!«

Jörn, another friend of mine, whom i know since earliest school days, might be in therapy for about 15 years now. His difficulty is one of the fears most of us know:

The fear of letting go.

His therapist happily helps him to construct a mental web, that grew so thick and strong over the years, that i can not imagine, how he will ever be able to liberate from it.

He drags himself deeper and deeper into his mental vision, of how life is supposed to be, how life – human life – and behaviour – is supposed to be right – aua! – how it works properly and how it should be lived.

When it comes to speaking with him about all that crap, i can only think of this:

Dirk Verschure - Life how its supposed to be - Cover
Thanks, Jen, for showing me that amazing lmao-a-rotf-book by Dirk Verschure!

Jörn exactly ›knows‹, how – for instance – e-mail-communication is supposed to work, according to some selfmade Knigge.

One ›rule‹ of proper communication is, for instance, that you have to get an answer, if you write a mail to someone. Even if that someone might get 200 mails a day. Doesn't matter. If the recipient does not answer right away, he is not nice, the entire thing is not fair – and Jörn can stay depressed.

And this after 15 years of therapy…

Freaks me out, all that mental fuck!



And these mental manipulators – who consider themselves as therapists – get maybe something like 80 Euros an hour (!) for that mindfuck!

Digest that: They get 80 Euros (!) an hour (!) from our health-(!)-system, to help people to mentally fuck themselves further up…

That ›thinking‹, that's the freaking root-disease!

That so much wanted to come out!

I mean – just do simple math:

20 years × 53 weeks × 80 Euros = 84.800 Euro!

And now imagine, these depressed ›therapists‹ have 20 clients each:

This makes 1.696.000 Euros!

Then imagine, there would be only 1.000 therapists around, who actively practice that ›technique‹, because of not knowing better. They make a financially healthy living by dragging other, weaker people into their freaky mind games.

First – let's do the math – that makes 1.696.000.000 Euros.


And you still don't know, what's wrong with the system?

It's the system itself.

It's us.

(Depressed now? Good. This way.)

That therapist-thing is – by the way – the very same thing, these churches are about!

Usually they drag people into dependency – not into liberation.

Jesus knew – and told them – therefore he had to die.
I know – and wrote it – therefore…
Too bad, that the good guys go far too early, right?

It's the system, that kills its liberators, because it does not want to die.

Just like everything else.

Too sick for you?

You just read about one (!) single (!) issue of our highly ›civilized‹ culture.


Stop thinking!






Stop thinking, start feeling.

Consciousness is the key.

I would love to say: The one and only key.

But how should i know?

I think – therefore i can not be trusted.

Let's ask the Bondi Hipsters!

Maybe they have an idea!

»Lets be honest, there's something wrong with the system... We don't know how to fix it, but in the meantime we're gonna blame the banks, the media, celebrity culture, and the illuminati. Sorry bout it.«

We are so incredibly disconnected from our nature – human nature – truth.

Ahhh … how much i hate it! …as you might have realized by now.

And i don't hate many things … but the Matrix … aaaaaaarrrrrgggghhhhhh! – drives me more and more nuts, the clearer i see it.





Back to the story.

There you are:

Disconnected from your traumatized family and friends, you see all the fear, the running away and the mental sickness inside of that grown-up matrix, and everyone eaten by it (which is almost everyone) … and the ones, who you feel you could go threw this with … are not interested.

Hmm … I don't wonder, why people say goodbye to the world at that point.

Happily, there is music – and its musicians – to connect to – to cling on to.

Selah Sue - Reason - Vinyl-Cover in Action
Selah Sue, Björk, My Brightest Diamond – such valuable partners on your way home

I still wonder, why kind of everybody is running away from being down, sad and depressed. It is just an ordinary (!) emotional state, which ends – sooner or later – all by itself (!) – just like any other emotional state (and everything else) as well.

Are you still one of these guys, desperately running after happiness?


Here's my quote for you:

Fuck Happiness! Just be.